A BATH AT BATTLE HARBOUR

by Jim Payne, September 22, 2002

There's a story going round the ship of some concern to me
Cause someone said they saw me looking kind of watery
It's true that after Battle Harbour I did get kinda wet
So just to set the record straight I don't want anyone to fret

The bare facts of the story as my passengers can attest
Are that as we approached the gangway up on a choppy crest
I may have been somewhat swifter than conditions would allow
And the gangway was a-swaying likewise the zodiac stern to bow

As we came astride the gangway and kept on going past
It looked like it would take out one of my passengers back aft
I yelled duck and so they did but there wasn't time to think
So I let go my right hand rope and toppled in the drink

Now them's the facts and yes it was quite embarrassing to me
But I've been overboard before and expect again will be
I apologize to my passengers for giving them such a fright
And thank Alex Crosbie who showed me how to do it right

Likewise I'll thank the crew who pulled me from my salty bath
But when I counted passengers it didn't take along to do the math
Some were still back on the wharf wondering if I'd gone astray
So a towel a change of clothes and back in the zodiac and on my way

Now I'm glad my next load didn't know what just had taken place
Or if they did they didn't remark on my wet hair and blushing face
A lovely spin round Back Cove and on out to the ship
You can rest assured I was determined not to take another dip

I had no more dry clothes you see and I don't like salt up my nose
And the hardest part of all was wringing out my dripping clothes
So that's what really happened but there's a deeper reason why
And I was going to keep it secret but folks are talking so I won't lie

Now several times upon this cruise I have heard it remarked
That you haven't seen much wildlife neither seabirds whale nor shark
And the cruise is now half over and rather than let you wait
I thought the only way we'll get wildlife is if we have the bait

Oh yes I took it on myself to make the sacrifice
I didn't check with Matt or Laurie I just went and paid the price
And now you've seen the results I thought it turned out rather fine
Cause here come white beaked dolphins with orcas right behind

And now you've seen your wildlife so I have no regrets
And will I do it again for you go see Tom he's taking bets
Then I finally talked with Martin who knew I'd been afloat
But he visibly relaxed when he found out I hadn't hurt the boat

Now to conclude and finish I think I've told it all
And I know that it's no joke when someone in the ocean falls
But I'd be sad to see this episode your cruise enjoyment mar
So instead of drowning in the Straits I'll drown my sorrows in the bar.



Check here to read Tom Kovacs' irreverent response to Jim's version of events.

For a glossary which explains some of the names in the above recitation, check here.

Newfoundland Circumnavigation